Can you believe it! lol

I am OK, better then OK... I feel Good!

As though I have my life back!

Oh, PW buddies... I could not have done it without you all... <wiping tears away> When I had some bad moments, this forum is how I managed to get through them. Not to mention the Home Detox thread with all of the advice from the Immodium to all the other supplements that are listed on there to take... I took them ALL! lol You should have seen me in line at the Grocery store/pharmacy throwing all that stuff in my shopping cart! I was like a crazed women preparing for some kind of Hurricane that was coming... LOL! Janie, I spent the Money! <wink>

Anyway, I am at... (lets check calendar, shall we) 18 days without taking Hydro!!! No taper, Well I went from 25 on a Saturday to 10 on a Sunday to 2 on a Monday and then "Nada" on Tuesday, July 17th! That was the last day I took Hydro. That is NOT a taper... That kinda slash would be a Cold Turkey! lol I felt like a Cold, sweaty Turkey right before Thanksgiving, that's for sure...

Well, I am doing fabulous. My pain is undercontrol with Motrin or Advil. I am amazed that I am waking up in the morning and not running for the Hydro! No Hydro to run to but regardless, I don't even feel as though I need it! I am not going to lie, there are days where the mental gymnastics kick in and I think about my Hydro Haze filled days but life is just to Grand right now without it. I have some tough ordeals in my life ahead of me (one is my first born heading off to College)
That is enough to through me over the edge but I am facing everything head on without the Hydro. Yeah, dealing with that "mental pain" would have triggered me to take Hydro a month ago. Well, every little thing triggered me to take Hydro... I had myself convinced that I was in the need for this med more then just the physical pain that I was enduring. Yes, the physical pain is/was there but not to the degree of what I was taking this medication at the level I was taking it for. Obviously Not or the Motrin would not be helping me right now... LOL!

Anyway, I pray for all of you wanting and needing to do this. Especially Scotty!! You have been in my thoughts and prayers through this all! Scotty, how are you doing? Tennis you too???

BornSlippy, I think I said this before but your story inspired me as well. I read so many stories about WD that I was freaked out before I even started to experience WD that Sunday.

BornSlippy's your thread/post made me feel that I could do it! That first week and part of the 2nd week was ROUGH! I felt horrible but it was doable. You could not tell me at that moment that in 18 days I would feel like I DO! I would never have believed it! But anybody reading this, preparing to wean, cold turkey and/or thinking of getting off these meds. You WILL get your life back! I promise!

I read that there are a few other new on this board, I think it was "Whathell". Hang in there buddy... You'll be ok! <wink>

Hi Jen! Glad to see Jen! is OK!

Sorry, I just had to tease you a little (it's in my nature...can't be helped.. ) when I saw the thread title with the short title, and the way you put the exclamations in, it just made me smile/chuckle.
I'm not making fun of you (don't want you to feel bad)..just teasing a little!! I like the way you express yourself sometimes in your posts..

Anyway, I'm really happy for you!! I love seeing the excitement and positive outlook you have in your post. It really shows..and I thank you and everyone else that posts to update how they feel coming off meds. It really can help people out there that may feel they don't need pain meds anymore..but might be worried/scared of how they will feel if they were to stop. And that they are not alone.

Great to see you doing so well..hope to see you around more..

Jen! Happy Day to you. Just wanted to say that I sympathize with your situation of having the oldest leave the nest. But, I lost the youngest (my daughter joined the Air Force) this Summer while I was tapering and I don't think there are enough meds in the world to get you through that feeling. However, now that I have adjusted I find that there are many pleasant benefits to being the parent of two lovely, intelligent adult women. I wish you much joy in this new phase of family life.

Great to hear Jen. I have followed your story with great interest since you joined the board. I am so happy you feel you are controlling your destiny again. We all should aspire to do the same. My hat is off.
PB

Hey Jen,

Thanks for the kind words. The first few days was bluesey heh? l.o.l. 18 days? That is awesome.

oh and isn't your energy level and patience a little bit more consistent? You should notice that even time is not dragging if you don't think about it.

Did you take Kratom? how was that?

Good Morning... 19 days today...

Last night I went to a comedy show and tonight a baseball game! Sunday, I have my husbands Company picnic.

All this activity with NO HYDRO! Last month, I could not even DREAM of doing all this without taking this drug!

I feel good and d-a-mn proud of it!

Bornslippy, I did take Kratom and it helps! I posted about how to take on your thread about "should I buy Kratom" It is a natural herb but you HAVE to learn a lot about it and the effects of it if you don't respect how you are willing to take it and what you are trying to achieve. Kratom is a life saver but I refused to trade on addiction for another. I took it in moderation and stayed away from strong extracts... Anyway, read the other thread it may answer more questions for you!

Oh, Shawn, the ! after my name is sort of a symbol that I do when I sign my name. LOL! I started signing my name; Jen! years ago on a business board that I was on and it stuck with me... Now out of habit (no pun intended) I sign my name...

quote:

oh and isn't your energy level and patience a little bit more consistent? You should notice that even time is not dragging if you don't think about it.

Oh, my goodness, my patience level is unbelivable now! I am not screaming, "WHAT!" at everybody and anybody that asks me a simple question!

While on the extensive amounts of Hydro, my patients were shot to h-e-ll and back...

LOL

My poor family. <hanging head>

I took that stupid hour glass away from my avatar and posted a pic of me. That hourglass reminded me of the hours I wasted while on the Hydro... Now the picture is the new ME! <big smile> lol

I am not sure how long I will keep a picture of me up on the Internet but I wanted you to see who I was...

Wheew..
I thought you might have gotten mad cause I was teasing you a little there..

Hey, what game are you going to?? I haven't been to a baseball game yet..my g/f has which is funny because I got her into baseball. She went to a game with one of my friends when we were in Texas, and I stayed home and watched my friends kids.lol.
One of these days I will go see a game..

Cute picture..you look younger than I thought you were. I'd say you look 56-57??



I MEANT TO SAY 26-27!!!

Jenn!

I know what you mean about this board, There is nothing like feeling like crap and have to go somewhere for support. I am on day 16 240mll oxyciton I was chewwing those things, I never what to see thoses pills again. It really sounds like you feel great now. I do have 1 or ??? for for you. Do you feel the need as I to help people in the future, now it just seems some thing that needs to be done, it is not like you can tell your doc, people here seem to talk from experince, like Scotty. I think Scotty helped me the most. Not to take anything away from the rest here. The 2nd do you have any deppresion?

Peace
And good luck
I know you will always
be in my heart.

Never forget
Andrew

Hello Jen, great to see someone is doing so good. Like I have said before in this forum, take one day at a time, and each day without the hydro is one more day of getting your life back.

It is really a great feeling and a great acheivement knowing you can tackle any situation without thinking you have to rely on the hydro's to see you through. Life also looks much better through sober eyes compared to the haze of the hydro's. Your story is an inspiration to others that need to do the same thing.

Jen! sweetie! i am so dang proud of you!

you went from 25 to 10 to 2? hot damn girl! how the heck did you DO that? i am amazed and i have a WHOLE new respect for you. i can much more clearly understand what you went thru and are going thru...

how are you feeling? depression-wise, if any? i can see you in a store with your "planning ahead for an at home detox" list! you remind me of a younger more courageous me! i heard that POMEGRANATE is a good detoxig agent...as well as green tea, cherries/juice...the extracts are good as well...

i think it was Mark who exercised like crazy to feel better..it is hard to get started excercising...for ME? i started stretching for 5 minutes in the morning...i kept adding a minute til i was up to 10 and then slowly added more to and then some weights...I've got that flying sqirrel thing going on the backs of my upper arms...i do the "Queen of England wave" i am afraid if i wave "normally" i may just take flight and end up in a tree...i could get them both going and waving and save on airfair to Indy!

thanks for the kind words jen!, but we are all helping each other here...and it is awesome...the coolest thing is people just starting are sometimes the BIGGEST help...it keeps it so new for the people, reminding them of those feelings and how they do NOT want to go back there!

everyone here is to be commeneded on a job well done...me? i am getting there, slowly...mentally preparing. i am going to my sister's for about 2 weeks...she is the one in recovery. i want to be meds free by the 19th. i will be very busy there and it will be easier that way...

i need to go to bed for a bit..it is 4am...i slept for a while in my chair. it was a family reunion day and a bit stressful and VERY hot...as it is, without heatwave, i think these days i can heat a small country all by my lonesome...that might be a good career move for me...lol!
nite all...
keep going Jen! glad you are OK!

Shawn, NO! LOL! 26-27???? I wish... I have an 18 year old... I can't be 26, that would make me like 8 years old when I had him... LMAO!
I am 36 <smiling>

See, the funny thing about this all is that I always looked, felt and acted younger then my age. When I took the Hydro, I aged myself for that 1-1/2 I was on the Hydro..

I think I was in denial that I was a recluse and never felt the need to do the things that made me happy. Even taking care of myself. I used to treat myself to the spa, etc. On the Hydro, I could care less about the things that made me happy. I thought I "was happy" because I was "pain free" but I now I know the denial I was in. I have a blog that I found somewhere about the life of a Hydro user. I need to post it on here. It might surprise a few of you and make you realize a thing or two about yourself.

I <hanging head> was a Hydro Addict. I am not proud of it. Yes, I needed the medication (at first) for the pain and it was a good remedy but I used it longer and more then I needed it for...

So, I don't want you all to think that I am this new found "preacher" about "addiction" because that is not what I am all about. I of all people understand what pain relief is all about and the real need for a normal life with the use of pain medication. Unfortunately I took it to a level that it should have never reached. I paid the consequences for it.

Anyhow, I want you all to read something... I chuckle when I read this. Here is the Blog Entry I found on the Internet about "You might be a Hydro addict if."

Ready for this! Ok, Here it is! A few of these were me to a "T" LMAO!

You might be a Hydro addict if..

You can count a bottle of 120 pills faster an any pharmacist you have ever seen. This is almost a "Rainman" type of ability where looking at "X" number of pills you can answer "26" is 5 seconds or less or you can tell by holding them in your hand by the weight.

You have passed out (ie "rested" your eyes)at/on or doing any of the following: while driving at stop lights or a drive-thru, the dinner table, your desk, the toilet, mid-conversation with your spouse of other family member, on the phone, at the movies, kids school concert...the list could go on, please feel free to add your most ridiculous place/activity, I'm sure it can't be any worse than any of these.

Any meal including family dinner is often forgone because you have no desire food and it's something that fills your stomach and messes with your hydro buzz.

You often wake up earlier than needed and are excited because you know the best buzz of the day is waiting of you. You also go to bed early sometimes because your buzz has hit the wall for that day no matter how many you take and you just want it to be morning again so you can start over.

You NEVER eat breakfast because you have to take your hydro on any empty stomach

The most used phrases in your vocabulary are "you didn't tell the that!", "I forgot", "I don't care" "I can't deal with that right now" or "I don't give a shit".

Bills are usually paid only when you have been or are about to be "shut/cut-off and it takes you forever to find the one you need to pay in the Mount Everest of papers/unopened mail that used to be your dining room table or desk.

Making a...ahem #2 is not a daily occurence and when you do its a major production that closely resembles giving birth.

Anytime you spouse, kids or animals actually get brave enough to approach you your completely irritated and the first thing out of your mouth is WHAT?!

You have a such an extensive knowledge of information about FexEd you know most of their employees do including: The 800 number to heart, the weather forecast is for the HUB in Tennessee, what the "exception" codes mean, your drivers route schedule and you can hear his truck before your dog does. Your dog still barks and close family or you best friend but wags his tail at the FedEd guy. Of course you know your drivers name and possibly depending on if they are friendly their spouse/childrens names and feel slightly obligated to get him a "little something" for the holidays. You have mastered their phone system and know the "magic word" to skip the bs and get a human on the phone.

You are compelled to call the above mentioned FedEx when you package hasn't showed because you must hear the words out loud to convince you that it's really happenning. These calls are ALWAYS purely symbolic because you knew the forecast in TN and refreshed your tracking information 46 times before calling at 10:31am when it was officially late.

Mornings when you have a delivery coming are spent feeling like shit, laying on your couch in silence staring at your ceiling fan waiting. Brushing your teeth or getting dressed is totally out of the question. This occurs because the night before like a dumbass after much debate with yourself you took the last of hydro and probably had regret the minute they went down.

If you package doesn't come your day is shot. You call in to work, cancel appointments and shutdown.

You have opened a package with your teeth (nuff said)

In the early days you took and swallowed hydro like normal people do. As tolerance issues started to take hold you started playing the "halfsie" game, adding an extra half here and there. Halfsies quickly taught you that pills are much better when broken so you began to break all of them in half. When this becomes no longer as much fun you resort to breaking the halfsies in half with your teeth. After while you just pop them in your mouth and crunch them up like pez and you actually like the taste.

You know what OCS, NROP, ROP, OP, YOD, YPM, SVS, SWMG, PAWS and BIR mean and do not think they are descriptions from personal ads

You know who Saran is

If asked you can name a minimum of five different OCS plus know their consult fee and any discount code, if they do same day, what kind of records they won't accept, if they do 90 or 120, number of refills, pharmacies they currently use and the name of the "good one" if any to ask for when calling them or if their phone service sucks the other best method of contact.

You use your Palm, Blackberry, Franklin Planner, Dayrunner, even Excel or if you are old school your regular calendar to create a system to manage the dates your refills are due so you can keep them all straight.

Despite of your excellent tracking system you have screwed up at least once and called the refill you got last week and then tried to make up an elaborate story to cover your ass. "Oh, I did ...Well I have been suffering from occasional attacks of ammnesia and...look at that your correct here they are right here".

Even though its a guaranteed "no" you have called trying to get your refill early by telling them you are leaving the country, going on a cruise or some other bullshit story that involves a destination that FedEx can't ship to.

When a close friend or family member tells you they have a painful condition you ask what they were rx'd. If it's an opiate of any kind you make a mental note and ask them if they have any left the next time you are out.

To help ease withdrawl you may have drank really old Rx cough syrup or tylenol w/ codiene in it out of your medicine cabinet that was from when you kid got sick. This one might just be me?

You order hydro instead of paying your mortgage and justify it by telling yourself "hey I can't go to work without it out it so then nothing will get paid". Nothing gets paid anyways.

There can't be a lot of distraction or noise when you are driving. It causes you to lose it and not be able to concentrate on just staying in your lane and not spacing out and missing your turn/exit...AGAIN!

You do one of the following: You are obsessed with counting your pills and must do so up to several times a day. When you have eaten too many you suspect somebody stole some. OR You hide pills all around your house often forgetting where they are and then tearing the place to bits looking for them

Too funny, Jen. I can see you performing at one of the comedy clubs soon. Very good!
PB