Hi, I have been seeing a pain specialist and knew after a period of time I was taking way too much of the meds and filling them at different pharmacies. It just caught up with me and I got turned away for my refill at my pharmacy and they said they were going to call my doctors office. I called them first to say I didn't realize I was taking the meds wrong (obviously that is a lie) and feel horrible for letting this get so out of control. I just want to be a normal person again who's life doesn't revolved around pills.

Julie it may be a good idea for you to find a suboxone doctor to get off of the pills, if you have become physically dependent upon them.

Well, my doc's office had me come in and I told them I had problem taking too many of the pills and she is going to have me taper off of them. I think I'm ready to do that and find alternative treatment... I just can't believe I told the truth after lying for so long. I don't know anything about sub... if you have a sec let me know your experience with it!

Julie, I am going through the same issue, please don't feel bad. I finally decided to taper back myself after too many "close calls" with the pharmacy and went CT last Sunday. Lasted until Tuesday morning when I could not take another second and contacted a sub doc. Tuesday I finally slept for the 1st time in 5 days. Feeling depressed and very ashamed but I needed to change my life, or what there was left of it. I still feel tired and cranky but at least I'm giving "it" a try. The sub is working but the mental issue is still with me.
I have been reading these posts for weeks now and it made me think maybe I wasn't alone. I joined yesterday.
Hang in there Julie, I know things will get better for you.

I know you asked FW, but it is really working for me and I was up to 16-20 10/325's a day. I realize that I was taking way too many and my doc recommended higher dossage of the sub to help.
Still have masive headaches, but at least I can sleep and function again.

So much shame and fear, isn't there? I just sat in the doc's office and knew I had to get it out. I was taking 9-10 a day but would have taken more if they didn't make me throw up. Congrats to you for taking that first step, I read a lot on here but rarely post so it true we're not alone. Those nights with out pills were the wrost, so much twitching and sleeplessness. When I didn't have any I'd just get up and read or watch Tv or play with my dog. Keep it up and message me anytime, I know I'll need support too.

Too much fear, you are so right about that.
Too many lies also.
I have spent the last few nights with my dogs as well. I don't know what's worse: the sleepless nights, the cold sweats, the aches or the headaches. I do know that the sub has really helped me with all of the above. I tried CT before but always seemed to relapse and that's why I finally broke down and went to a doc. I'm glad I did.
It feels good to discuss this with someone other than doc.......

Faerie; et al~ I hate to say this, but from what I have been reading, the jury is still out where suboxone is concerned, I am seeing folks writing that after many months of taking "sub" they have a difficult time discontinuing IT...not sure where the answer really is, Kratom gets favorable marks from many, but there again, folks write and say it (Kratom) can become problematic as well...we take benzo's to help Hydro withdrawal, this week my pain Doc tells me that the benzo's are a harder withdrawal than hydro, I would love to hear of something that helps hydro. withdrawal without creating another monkey on my back to contend with...(sigh)
David

Shamans, I heard the same from my doc. I was told that I can only take for certain period and then get off sub. Everything I have read and heard so far tells me I still have a long way to go but baby steps are better than no steps. And I hope I didn't paint a rosy picture, this is not my idea of a good time but I created the problem.
Does kratom work?

I can vouch for the wonders of kratom, it takes away virtually all WD's, except for the tiredness (for me at least).
BUT, I experienced WD's coming off it as well. I really believe it's trading one crutch for another.

Rookie I am going on four weeks with no hydro using kratom. I like the malaysion because it does give me some energy. It can become addictive but if you use it to get off hydro and than quit you will be ok.

I agree with 7luvr and mistletoe. It does take away the WD symptoms. I am like 7luvr in that I can be tired, but other than that feel okay, maybe a day or two with the tummy feeling just a tad off, but not bad. And, like mistletoe says, some types may give you a tad more energy. I don't have any around now, but I like to have at least a little around most of the time.
PB

Kratom beats the hell out of Hydro if you compare addictions, but it is indeed trading one thing for another.

If you switch from Hydro to Kratom and then taper off the Kratom and quit, great idea!

If you're trading one for the other and stay on it though, I'd argue better to use something from a pharmacy than some dude's basement.

I think the thing that's supposed to be different or better with Suboxone is that since it's so long-lasting, you can get yourself out of the habit of taking something a certain number of times per day. I know of a bunch of folks who have slowly tapered off of Suboxone and done very well. DMG on this board, and Sunflowercat for example. Me, I'm obviously not in the right place yet mentally.

Actually, I have managed to get myself to a point where I can take as few as 2 doses of hydro per day, which WOULD be great if the doses were not as high as they are... I just can't seem to take that last extra step to taper. what is wrong with my brain?